Blue Tigresses - A few thoughts

I do know I take four a day and that they look pretty puny, but I'm still amazed at their ferocity. Thanks to those innocent round blue pills my whole sense of self has changed in very pleasant ways. Beyond the extensive fat displacement (extensive displacement, not extensive fat >P) and skin and facial feature softening, the sense of femininity which fills my every moment is wonderful. Such a relief from the male burden cannot be described simply, a sense of calm and collection coupled with a lively feminine spark. And it feels better the more I peel the old crusts of old male traits away. I'm not naive enough though to think that it's only the blue pills operating such a change in me. As far as the physical goes, yes, but I think a lot of the added peace that's poured into my soul comes from the fact that I'm not battling myself anymore over being something I am not.
I also feel I'm regaining my emotional breadth of old. When I was a child I used to be very loving and way more sensitive to everything around me. Then adolescence came, deep voice, big lump of muscle and hair in all the wrong places. Welcome to manhood (yuck).
My sensitivities deadened and my emotions became estranged, muffled partners as I tried and tried to conform to something I was not. The "Shut up and be a man" phase, where the only way to conform is to pour lye and salt on your soul, kill everything in sight. A walking stone is better than a walking contradiction, and you'll die anyway, and it'll all be over then, wait for your next incarnation (hopefully as a woman this time).
What a stupid, painful thing to do, yet we slough through it always lacking, never happy. I could never do a good job as a guy anyway, more often than not a gesture or something would give me away and immediately everyone would put me in cold storage. My heart was really not in it.
The sublinguals are mostly gone now, but the blue tigresses are off to do their thing. Coursing the paths of my veins, they turn desert into jungle and savannah as they run into the horizon.





Vignette:
Once or twice when I was 12 or so my stepfather jokingly asked a couple of friends and I if we needed to borrow some chest hair for our open shirts, and while I laughed with everyone, I thought chest hair was gross and not a desirable thing at all. I always wondered why I aversed being a guy so much, now I know ;)