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I haven't been happy lately with the look of my blog. I should learn some HTML and have it look better. Hmmm.
Since I haven't posted a decent piece of writing in so long I might as well share some news with you:
My first support meeting went really well. The atmosphere, even though most were very self-conscious, was relaxed. The woman in charge of the meetings is wonderful, I'd rather not say anything than interrupt her. She's got a strong, powerful voice, deep yet feminine for a woman her age. She's a minister and like teachers, ministers learn to give power and resonance to their voices in order to be heard. She would throw me into a lake if she knew but she reminded me in various respects of my grandmother. She's quite younger but the look was very much like my granny's at that age and also her voice and way of speaking. Interesting.
My grandma.... I need to call her. I haven't done so in a while. When I left where I left she was the only family person I was sad about leaving on her own. She played a big part in me coming to the big city. Speaking of, last sunday my honey and I went to see Madonna at Phillips Arena. It was AWESOME! The show was unbelievable, the dancing wonderful and the song versions rocked! Phillips has terrible acoustics though and at times one could only hear an indisctinct mash of sound and voice. We had a great time my SO and I, we didn't want it to end.
It was pouring rain when we got out, pouring really, there were rivers flowing into the storm drains and at every street corner. 3 long blocks to get to the car.... oh well. We got soaked of course. I was wearing a black corset top, red skirt with a cute star patch and black 3 inch strappy sandal heels which had gotten real slippery. At one point I did what most women would were doing: take off my shoes and run. Boy that rain was too cold for comfort. Or is it that I'm more susceptible to temperature changes now? When we got home it was still raining hard and we had to park a little far from our apartment. We got out again and right away I started getting these shivers all over. I was all shaky, my teeth were chattering like crazy and I couldn't say a word without repeating syllables. I'm definitely not as resistant all over since I started on the mones; but that goes with the territory, right? Even though I never liked being too strong or big (6'), it does have its uses. You need to depend less from other people to do stuff and it's a security plus when someone is eyeing you for something nasty too. I used to get beat up at school up until I was about 10. After that the big galoot gene kicked in and guys thought it twice before messing with me. I was in the process of shutting down myself for the long night of adolescence so my oozing soul darkness also helped keep them at bay. I haven't been in a fight since my 2nd year of high school, for which I'm grateful now. I don't want to get into anything that will cause me harm.
Aaaaaanyway, going back the support group, it was a very nice experience (which I'm eager to duplicate). I even made a friend there with whom we've emailed or chatted regularly since then. I liked it there that everyone had gender issues to deal with and nobody was judgmental. It certainly felt very warm there in our little circle. I'm fretting now whether to go or not to the SCC planning party where there's bound to be a lot more TGs and my social skills will have to improve a notch... I'm really nervous :[
On a side note, I've got a sore throat. I think I'd been coming down with it for some days but all the top-of-my-voice singing at the concert wrecked it for good. My fem voice is coming out much better now technically but since I'm unable to reach the high notes, I'm forced to the resonant bassoon. Speaking of voice, I feel like a teenager again. I've progressively raised the pitch and I'm now getting more comfortable
My friend from the support group tells me my voice sounds great, but I know she's a dear. I do know it's much better now than a month ago though. My next step is to eliminate more traces of maledom from my voice and rise from the dull nasal tomb. That last part is proving hard but I'm optimistic about the future. I think that bar some bone-set male traits I'm becoming a nice looking woman in my own right. And looking more and more like my mother and the women on her side of the family in the process... jeez :)
Since I haven't posted a decent piece of writing in so long I might as well share some news with you:
My first support meeting went really well. The atmosphere, even though most were very self-conscious, was relaxed. The woman in charge of the meetings is wonderful, I'd rather not say anything than interrupt her. She's got a strong, powerful voice, deep yet feminine for a woman her age. She's a minister and like teachers, ministers learn to give power and resonance to their voices in order to be heard. She would throw me into a lake if she knew but she reminded me in various respects of my grandmother. She's quite younger but the look was very much like my granny's at that age and also her voice and way of speaking. Interesting.
My grandma.... I need to call her. I haven't done so in a while. When I left where I left she was the only family person I was sad about leaving on her own. She played a big part in me coming to the big city. Speaking of, last sunday my honey and I went to see Madonna at Phillips Arena. It was AWESOME! The show was unbelievable, the dancing wonderful and the song versions rocked! Phillips has terrible acoustics though and at times one could only hear an indisctinct mash of sound and voice. We had a great time my SO and I, we didn't want it to end.
It was pouring rain when we got out, pouring really, there were rivers flowing into the storm drains and at every street corner. 3 long blocks to get to the car.... oh well. We got soaked of course. I was wearing a black corset top, red skirt with a cute star patch and black 3 inch strappy sandal heels which had gotten real slippery. At one point I did what most women would were doing: take off my shoes and run. Boy that rain was too cold for comfort. Or is it that I'm more susceptible to temperature changes now? When we got home it was still raining hard and we had to park a little far from our apartment. We got out again and right away I started getting these shivers all over. I was all shaky, my teeth were chattering like crazy and I couldn't say a word without repeating syllables. I'm definitely not as resistant all over since I started on the mones; but that goes with the territory, right? Even though I never liked being too strong or big (6'), it does have its uses. You need to depend less from other people to do stuff and it's a security plus when someone is eyeing you for something nasty too. I used to get beat up at school up until I was about 10. After that the big galoot gene kicked in and guys thought it twice before messing with me. I was in the process of shutting down myself for the long night of adolescence so my oozing soul darkness also helped keep them at bay. I haven't been in a fight since my 2nd year of high school, for which I'm grateful now. I don't want to get into anything that will cause me harm.
Aaaaaanyway, going back the support group, it was a very nice experience (which I'm eager to duplicate). I even made a friend there with whom we've emailed or chatted regularly since then. I liked it there that everyone had gender issues to deal with and nobody was judgmental. It certainly felt very warm there in our little circle. I'm fretting now whether to go or not to the SCC planning party where there's bound to be a lot more TGs and my social skills will have to improve a notch... I'm really nervous :[
On a side note, I've got a sore throat. I think I'd been coming down with it for some days but all the top-of-my-voice singing at the concert wrecked it for good. My fem voice is coming out much better now technically but since I'm unable to reach the high notes, I'm forced to the resonant bassoon. Speaking of voice, I feel like a teenager again. I've progressively raised the pitch and I'm now getting more comfortable
My friend from the support group tells me my voice sounds great, but I know she's a dear. I do know it's much better now than a month ago though. My next step is to eliminate more traces of maledom from my voice and rise from the dull nasal tomb. That last part is proving hard but I'm optimistic about the future. I think that bar some bone-set male traits I'm becoming a nice looking woman in my own right. And looking more and more like my mother and the women on her side of the family in the process... jeez :)
posted by V. at 8:29 AM
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