Money

I need to:
-Stop moaning and get better at the job I have now (it's a man's job, but what the hell). It pays my bills and whatever transition I've done.
-Get another job. I have absolutely no idea what I could do, but I think I will soon. I don't know if it pays so much to get a job kind of like McDonald's for example but as a last resort I'd take it. Waitressing would be fun but not before I kill this beard shadow, it's not only a self-confidence weight but also a liability, I need to pass. I don't know who would take TG waitresses anyway, because I don't pass all the time.

My cons (depressants)

-My job is on the low end of pay (better than the scraping-the-bottom jobs but kind of limited financially nonetheless)
-x
-I don't have any relations which could help me. Everyone I know is poor but decent like me (without the decent).
-I have a rock bottom self esteem, looow. It is definitely improving but most hurdles seem still too high to even think of going over them. Therapy would help.
-I can't afford therapy, it's too expensive to pay ca. $160 meds a month and $60-$120 therapy sessions.

My pros (I'm feeling better already)

-I am not unattractive, I'm slim and tall (6 1/2, 155 lbs) and hormones are delivering very good feminization. I have a 36A bust and a much more curvy body than before. I do have a kind of "distinct" beauty which people may like or not, but I am definitely not stranded in the looks department :) Last time I went to do my hair the stylist asked me if I was a model. WHOOOEEE!!
-I'm 25 (26 in october!), still a somewhat "young" transitioner with most of her life in the future.
-I have an endless well of contempt for the morons' opinions and space, so I'll dress and act the way I goddamn want when I goddamn want so to speak. Ok not at work.
-I am corageous, I'll jump into something new fairly easily, it's keeping up what I find an uphill battle. So after some tossing and turning I'd brave the elements and go get a job as a girl, something that is still quite a test for me.