out and about (what a lame name for a post)
Interesting: we are our worst judges.
As I said earlier, I went for the andro look today going out. The laser casualties were showing so the only thing I could do was to soften the look with some makeup.
I wore some boy jeans (but let them hang from my hips), a bra that wouldn't make my breasts prominent and a fitted girl shirt in which I've always looked pretty androgynous. Funny thing is I hadn't worn it for a while and now it looked 10x better than it used to. Now I'm making use for the first time of the "extra room" under the armpits all girl shirts have Very Happy
So my roommate (a GG) and I went to Applebee's for lunch. I was really flustered about the face thing and wanted to hide under my bed. I even skipped going for the dress today since I wouldn't be able to go into the girl's fitting room without suspicious looks. Before I started passing, I'd boldly go where no T had gone before, I wouldn't care about people's looks or whatever. Now if I'm not going to pass I'd rather not. I guess one gets used to the good stuff Smile
So we went to Applebee's and the server didn't address us in any particular way at the beginning (which made me more paranoid, you can guess). However when she came back with the food she was "ladies" this, "ladies" that. "Is everything ok ladies?", "Do you need anything ladies". Needless to say, that dispeled most of my doubts (you always wonder, "isn't she JUST being nice?".
Move on to a couple of hours later and we had to cancel the shopping trip because a friend of my roommate's mom had been taken to the hospital (hope she's ok by now). I had to send some christmas cards overseas so I headed for the post office at the mall. My spirits were up but when I saw the mall brimming with people I felt like turning back but since I also wanted to buy my roommate a christmas present I pressed on.
Surprisingly, no one looked at me weird, no one stared. I was either passing as me or passing as a guy (I don't think so). So I went into this store to buy a couple of pearl studs for her and the lady showing them to me is "ma'am" this "ma'am" that. *smiles* And this with those white floodlights everywhere!
So yeah, we are our worst critics. I guess there's a moment in your transition when the combination of voice, demeanor and general appearance due to hrt make things like some visible shadow not a guy trying to pass as a girl, but a girl with a skin condition (which in the end all of us are). When that changeover moment happens I really don't know, but I have been pining for and expecting it for soooo long. I know I will get sir'd in the future sometimes (though that hasn't happened much lately and I make a big fuss in my mind when it does Razz), but somehow it's not life-defining as it used to be.
And that, friends and neighbours, concludes this post and the first stage of my transition Smile
As I said earlier, I went for the andro look today going out. The laser casualties were showing so the only thing I could do was to soften the look with some makeup.
I wore some boy jeans (but let them hang from my hips), a bra that wouldn't make my breasts prominent and a fitted girl shirt in which I've always looked pretty androgynous. Funny thing is I hadn't worn it for a while and now it looked 10x better than it used to. Now I'm making use for the first time of the "extra room" under the armpits all girl shirts have Very Happy
So my roommate (a GG) and I went to Applebee's for lunch. I was really flustered about the face thing and wanted to hide under my bed. I even skipped going for the dress today since I wouldn't be able to go into the girl's fitting room without suspicious looks. Before I started passing, I'd boldly go where no T had gone before, I wouldn't care about people's looks or whatever. Now if I'm not going to pass I'd rather not. I guess one gets used to the good stuff Smile
So we went to Applebee's and the server didn't address us in any particular way at the beginning (which made me more paranoid, you can guess). However when she came back with the food she was "ladies" this, "ladies" that. "Is everything ok ladies?", "Do you need anything ladies". Needless to say, that dispeled most of my doubts (you always wonder, "isn't she JUST being nice?".
Move on to a couple of hours later and we had to cancel the shopping trip because a friend of my roommate's mom had been taken to the hospital (hope she's ok by now). I had to send some christmas cards overseas so I headed for the post office at the mall. My spirits were up but when I saw the mall brimming with people I felt like turning back but since I also wanted to buy my roommate a christmas present I pressed on.
Surprisingly, no one looked at me weird, no one stared. I was either passing as me or passing as a guy (I don't think so). So I went into this store to buy a couple of pearl studs for her and the lady showing them to me is "ma'am" this "ma'am" that. *smiles* And this with those white floodlights everywhere!
So yeah, we are our worst critics. I guess there's a moment in your transition when the combination of voice, demeanor and general appearance due to hrt make things like some visible shadow not a guy trying to pass as a girl, but a girl with a skin condition (which in the end all of us are). When that changeover moment happens I really don't know, but I have been pining for and expecting it for soooo long. I know I will get sir'd in the future sometimes (though that hasn't happened much lately and I make a big fuss in my mind when it does Razz), but somehow it's not life-defining as it used to be.
And that, friends and neighbours, concludes this post and the first stage of my transition Smile
posted by V. at 10:02 PM
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