tuesday tuesday
The early week lumbers on as usual. Today my jets seem to be fueled enough so that the dark cloud of All Those Bad Things About Transition doesn't engulf me, so my mood is not completely spoiled.
No, jet metaphors aren't very girlie. Awful modern though. Almost futuristic.
Anyway. The thought of GRS I'm still able to brush away and focus on something else, but (the dreadful) Living As A Young Man doesn't spare me a day for punches.
It gets worse, so go read a more interesting, happy blog if you will. You've been warned.
I was pleasantly ma'amed on the phone again today. I'm (gasp!) sort of used to it by now. Even yesterday as I was getting gas service for my new apartment, the nice lady who helped me through the phone with it called me Ms.[lastname] even after she asked for "your" name and I (had to) gave her my full boyname. She was very nice, sweet people make your day. It's true what they say about smiles and niceties, offer them whenever you can.
I am facing some sort of frustration with my physical appearance. It hurts when sometimes all your effort at just conveying who you are gets slammed in the mud by one or two dummy details. People stop seeing you as female and as their eyes grow more distant, you are relayed to the category of Gender Contrivance or worse, Weird Man.
Would that stop with FT or GRS? (ahhh, clever tie-in) No, but when you can dedicate yourself to just being you, everything changes. It changes radically after FT; it changes more after GRS. How do I know? I've read, I've listened, I've seen. You don't have to be awfully perceptive to realize that something has changed (and I count myself as fairly perceptive). It's like the day you "come out to yourself" or when you start HRT. Those I know :)
It's a road with milestones and thousands of little flowers to pick. Too bad it is so hard for some of us.
My mantras du jour:
"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still."
"This too shall pass"
"Chance is a kind of religion when you're damned to plain hard luck"
No, jet metaphors aren't very girlie. Awful modern though. Almost futuristic.
Anyway. The thought of GRS I'm still able to brush away and focus on something else, but (the dreadful) Living As A Young Man doesn't spare me a day for punches.
It gets worse, so go read a more interesting, happy blog if you will. You've been warned.
I was pleasantly ma'amed on the phone again today. I'm (gasp!) sort of used to it by now. Even yesterday as I was getting gas service for my new apartment, the nice lady who helped me through the phone with it called me Ms.[lastname] even after she asked for "your" name and I (had to) gave her my full boyname. She was very nice, sweet people make your day. It's true what they say about smiles and niceties, offer them whenever you can.
I am facing some sort of frustration with my physical appearance. It hurts when sometimes all your effort at just conveying who you are gets slammed in the mud by one or two dummy details. People stop seeing you as female and as their eyes grow more distant, you are relayed to the category of Gender Contrivance or worse, Weird Man.
Would that stop with FT or GRS? (ahhh, clever tie-in) No, but when you can dedicate yourself to just being you, everything changes. It changes radically after FT; it changes more after GRS. How do I know? I've read, I've listened, I've seen. You don't have to be awfully perceptive to realize that something has changed (and I count myself as fairly perceptive). It's like the day you "come out to yourself" or when you start HRT. Those I know :)
It's a road with milestones and thousands of little flowers to pick. Too bad it is so hard for some of us.
My mantras du jour:
"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still."
"This too shall pass"
"Chance is a kind of religion when you're damned to plain hard luck"
posted by V. at 11:30 AM
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