tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191966.post-1103815958055556432004-12-23T10:08:00.000-05:002004-12-23T10:32:38.056-05:00Rainy morning with wet golden leaves lying around sporadically here and there. There's a wind blowing which is pleasant and breezy but just a little bit too cold for my own comfort. 42 degrees... Did I tell you I'm cold-natured? :) I want to spend the next New Year's in New York city (Times Square, 3,2,1, *fireworks*) but there's no way I'm walking in snow at night without lots of furry stuff on :) <br /> <br />The end of the year is coming fast and I still need to buy a new dress and go to the hairstylist's... argh. If only this facial shadow would just disappear! Have you ever felt like you don't want by any means to be a freak? That's how I feel now. The feminine physical cues are more apparent but I still have that devil of a shade present. Laser though is doing a great job, I know most of the dark I see now is the charred heads which haven't yet been shed. Still... <br />I inhabit a physical land of gender indefinition, boy or girl mode....I'm terrified to go try a dress or to the hairdresser's because I'll get read and whatnot. I know it's kind of stupid, I'm starting to look more and more like a big girl than anything else and passing in everyday life mostly works. People don't stare, kids mostly pass me by (though I get some that look puzzled and wary sometimes, little girls of course). Those that do read me or who sense something wrong visibly can't decide one way or the other. Out of this world. Me? <br />Yet... <br /> <br /> <br />So, regarding going out into the world, the most sensible thing would be to wait until the face looks better in a few days... or until my paranoia has quieted down :P <br /> <br /> <br />From the "unrelated" bin... I've been considering switching to Linux on my old trusty(crusty) IBM Thinkpad 600x (PIII y'all :D) but I'm a bit wary. I've lost hard drives full of stuff thanks to windows/hardware malfunctions more than once in the past and I'm a little reluctant to disturb the somewhat slow but otherwise working little world of my Windows 2000AS. <br />V.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06812296579111880006noreply@blogger.com