tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7191966.post-1115381779605047862005-05-06T07:37:00.000-04:002005-05-06T08:19:24.966-04:002005-05-06T08:19:24.966-04:00I'm feeling better this morning, don't know if it's the laser session yesterday, having slept 10 hours last night or just the wave of sadness letting on a bit. I saw a post today about someone's experiences after GRS and it was like a strong wind shaking my walls though. I didn't stay too much on the board, for now I still have the sense (or the strength) not to dwell on that.<br />My 6th laser session yesterday went really well. The power was amped up to 30j (the highest it's ever been) and believe it or not, this is the first time since I started having them that a session hurt *less* than the one before! Yes! The 5th was the cusp of pain but also the one that gave me best results (I rarely if ever wore anything more than powder after it), I was talking to people up close and I wasn't being read. That was major cool. Today my face is looking bad mostly because of the swelling that hasn't subsided, and my face is not full of red areas like last time. It really looks like I'm "beyond the curve", that my facial shadow is going FOR REAL!<br /><br />I washed my hair yesterday and it's looking super-curly :P Not really a "guy" look but what the heck, the only place where I'm consistently a "guy" is at work and it's quite obvious that everyone can see I'm not "just a guy". I wonder if anyone has noticed my breasts yet. I wear a uniform three-four sizes bigger than myself, a sports bra and a T-shirt underneath, but they are still noticeable, specially in the rounded shape of my upper torso.<br />I can still pass as a guy if I want (no, I don't). It's mostly about voice and slipping into the solid guy stance I learned in my teens (I guess all of us mtf TSs can). But being able to doesn't mean you *want* to. Doing a guy voice for example feels like killing my feminine voice and behaving accordingly is almost plain impossible... it's like going against your own self. And it brings bad, bad memories and feelings.<br />No, I don't do it if I can help it :)V.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06812296579111880006noreply@blogger.com